MAQT Recreational Lexicon
A cashier at the dining hall who will undercharge if he likes you. Unfortunately,
Ambrose has moved on to hopefully better things. Update: Ambrose has recently
been seen shopping at Giant and carrying on a heated conversation with some
An·dy Si·dar·is n.
The producer of several low-budget movies, like The Dallas Connection,
Day of the Warrior, and Hard Ticket to Hawaii, which
have reached cult status. They feature attractive women who are bad actresses,
heavy-duty artillery weapons, and incongruous nudity. Best viewed with
a few shots of vodka.
One of Khon's original game purchases and the source of an intense
rivalry between David Hamilton and Matt Colvin, usually involving a large
amount of trash talk. The basic point of the game is to guess the
correct definition of a word from among the incorrect definitions made up
by the players. Matt can often guess the correct definition by using his
knowledge of Greek and Latin roots, while
Dave uses his large repository of useless words. Dave also showed us the
dark side of Balderdash, by introducing shady tactics to fool people, such
as reading definitions like a "nasty old hag" as "nasty old hog," and then
correcting himself, as if he had trouble reading someone's cacography
(Arthur saw through the scam, but Michelle is still
pissed about that one). Khon has won a few games, including one due to
Jason, when Jason correctly deduced that a "philocubist" is a lover of
thus stopping Matt, who was the dasher. Dave Goodman has shown himself
to be the official biscuit of Balderdash, coming up with such gems
as "a green sock" and "toe jewelry." Other interesting definitions made
up for words include "a lactating goat," "smooth," and "the sidekick of
Captain Hoopla" (we don't know; ask Khon).
Bridge (brij) n.
The current card game of choice for those who know how to play. John Nam
introduced us to the game, presumably as another outlet for gambling. Bridge
allows much more trash talk than euchre, and is often more amusing because
none of us really knows how to play well.
Cut it in two and eat it (kut it in two and eat it) interj.
A remark often used when someone on the team is taking a painfully long time to
accomplish an ostensibly simple task. First used by Dave Hamilton to Adam Fine, who
was eating a piece of cake at a pace that the rest of the table considered slow
even for Adam. At the time, Adam ignored the request, but the phrase caught on.
Euch·re (yoock' uhrr) n.
The former card game of choice for most quiz team parties. As Matt Colvin considered
himself to be an above average player, it gave the rest of us great
satisfaction to watch him lose. The ample trash talk is often more
entertaining than the game itself, especially when some of the players
have had too much to drink.
Geez·er n., pl. -ers
An affectionate term for recent MAQT graduates who have a tendency to come to practices and bitch
about how slow they are now, and how much better things were in the old days,
while the rest of us smile and nod in the hopes that they will shut up
and go back to sleep. This entry is in the social lexicon because
they often hang out with us outside of practice.
Ham·il·ton Gam·bit n.
The practice of leading a low trump after winning an inflated euchre bid,
often for no ostensible reason. It works surprisingly well for Dave,
evidently due to a good amount of buttluck.
Hearts (hartz) n.
Another favorite card game of the quiz team. Often played while waiting
for poorly organized tournaments to begin. Rob Hershey is a kick-ass hearts
player. Uno Hearts is a variant that incorporates a lot more cards,
including two cards that force everyone to swap their current hands,
which were termed "switchies" by Khon.
A game purchased by Adam Fine that has been judged the board game with
the least repeat play value by the few who were unfortunate enough
to have played it. Close seconds in terms of crappy board games we have
been subjected to include Tribond, Huggermugger, and 13 Dead End Drive.
Int·er·act·ive deal·ing n., v.
An interjection used after the dealer realizes he has screwed up somewhere
in the dealing process. The term was obviously coined by a computer science
major since no one else could come up with something this nerdy.
Khon and Mich·elle's A·part·ment n.
The typical meeting place for MAQT get-togethers, the apartment features
a VCR, decks of cards, and lots of food and alcohol.
Another term for "little Nell" in euchre, from what some people see
as a deficit in its eponym, Kona Carmack. Going alone in little Nells
is thus called a "Kona Alona."
Late night n.
The term for the period from 9:00 to 12:00 from Monday to Thursday, when
dining hall is open and serves such delicacies as Belgian waffles, spicy
hot wings, cereal in a big ol' styrofoam cup, milkshakes, nachos,
and soft pretzels. After gorging on this fare after practice, team members
will often play cards until the dining hall staff give us the evil eye
for staying too late.
1. The official hostess of the MAQT, who bakes brownies and cakes with obnoxious
messages on them. She is also is the team bartender.
2. The practice of playing the lowest possible guaranteed winner first
in order to temporarily confuse the other players at the table, who assume
that Michelle has been spending too much time taste-testing new drinks,
and that someone will play a higher card. Most people have caught on to
her cheesy trickery by now.
The nickname Shaun Hayeslip acquired one fateful night when he felt an
urgent need to relieve himself, and picked the fountain on McKeldin mall
as an adequate place.
Pre·cis·ion bid·ding n. or interj.
A comment used when just making a bid in a game of cards. Often used
obnoxiously when the bid was made mostly on buttluck or
the other team's biscuitry.
That's how it works interj.
1. A taunt originated by David Hamilton, usually spoken during a Euchre game. It is used to
rub it in after the successful making of an extremely lucky bid, usually by means of extreme
luck in the location of aces, or in the fortuitous distribution of void suits in the hands of
one's teammates. The implication of the phrase is "You think we got buttlucky, but in fact,
that sort of play is simply routine for me and my teammates."
You're my woman (yoor my wuh man) interj.
1. An incredibly sexist statement frequently said by John Nam to Matt Colvin and other male
players on the team, when playing against them in a card game, basketball, or quiz bowl.
Derived from a very foolish remark of Mike Tyson's before he lost to Evander Holyfield ("I'm
going to make him my woman."). In John's usage, the phrase may be said at any time, even when
losing badly:. "Yeah, the score's 51 to 20. But I'm going to get a 32 point loner and kick
your ass, because you're my woman."
Zeke (zeek) n. or v.
The practice of not following suit, especially when it occurs many times
in a game or changes the outcome of a game. Zeke had a lot of trouble
with the whole suit-following thing, but he seems to have gotten the
hang of it. Unfortunately for him, the term lives on.
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Last updated August 30, 1998.