MAQT Recreational Lexicon

Am·brose n.: A cashier at the dining hall who will undercharge if he likes you. Unfortunately, Ambrose has moved on to hopefully better things. Update: Ambrose has recently been seen shopping at Giant and carrying on a heated conversation with some dude.
An·dy Si·dar·is n.: The producer of several low-budget movies, like The Dallas Connection, Day of the Warrior, and Hard Ticket to Hawaii, which have reached cult status. They feature attractive women who are bad actresses, heavy-duty artillery weapons, and incongruous nudity. Best viewed with a few shots of vodka.
Bald·er·dash n.: One of Khon's original game purchases and the source of an intense rivalry between David Hamilton and Matt Colvin, usually involving a large amount of trash talk. The basic point of the game is to guess the correct definition of a word from among the incorrect definitions made up by the players. Matt can often guess the correct definition by using his knowledge of Greek and Latin roots, while Dave uses his large repository of useless words. Dave also showed us the dark side of Balderdash, by introducing shady tactics to fool people, such as reading definitions like a "nasty old hag" as "nasty old hog," and then correcting himself, as if he had trouble reading someone's cacography (Arthur saw through the scam, but Michelle is still pissed about that one). Khon has won a few games, including one due to Jason, when Jason correctly deduced that a "philocubist" is a lover of dice games, thus stopping Matt, who was the dasher. Dave Goodman has shown himself to be the official biscuit of Balderdash, coming up with such gems as "a green sock" and "toe jewelry." Other interesting definitions made up for words include "a lactating goat," "smooth," and "the sidekick of Captain Hoopla" (we don't know; ask Khon).
Bridge (brij) n.: The current card game of choice for those who know how to play. John Nam introduced us to the game, presumably as another outlet for gambling. Bridge allows much more trash talk than euchre, and is often more amusing because none of us really knows how to play well.
Cut it in two and eat it (kut it in two and eat it) interj.: A remark often used when someone on the team is taking a painfully long time to accomplish an ostensibly simple task. First used by Dave Hamilton to Adam Fine, who was eating a piece of cake at a pace that the rest of the table considered slow even for Adam. At the time, Adam ignored the request, but the phrase caught on.
Euch·re (yoock' uhrr) n.: The former card game of choice for most quiz team parties. As Matt Colvin considered himself to be an above average player, it gave the rest of us great satisfaction to watch him lose. The ample trash talk is often more entertaining than the game itself, especially when some of the players have had too much to drink.
Geez·er n., pl. -ers: An affectionate term for recent MAQT graduates who have a tendency to come to practices and bitch about how slow they are now, and how much better things were in the old days, while the rest of us smile and nod in the hopes that they will shut up and go back to sleep. This entry is in the social lexicon because they often hang out with us outside of practice.
Ham·il·ton Gam·bit n.: The practice of leading a low trump after winning an inflated euchre bid, often for no ostensible reason. It works surprisingly well for Dave, evidently due to a good amount of buttluck.
Hearts (hartz) n.: Another favorite card game of the quiz team. Often played while waiting for poorly organized tournaments to begin. Rob Hershey is a kick-ass hearts player. Uno Hearts is a variant that incorporates a lot more cards, including two cards that force everyone to swap their current hands, which were termed "switchies" by Khon.
Hummmmmm·ble n.: A game purchased by Adam Fine that has been judged the board game with the least repeat play value by the few who were unfortunate enough to have played it. Close seconds in terms of crappy board games we have been subjected to include Tribond, Huggermugger, and 13 Dead End Drive.
Int·er·act·ive deal·ing n., v.: An interjection used after the dealer realizes he has screwed up somewhere in the dealing process. The term was obviously coined by a computer science major since no one else could come up with something this nerdy.
Khon and Mich·elle's A·part·ment n.: The typical meeting place for MAQT get-togethers, the apartment features a VCR, decks of cards, and lots of food and alcohol.
Ko·na n.: Another term for "little Nell" in euchre, from what some people see as a deficit in its eponym, Kona Carmack. Going alone in little Nells is thus called a "Kona Alona."
Late night n.: The term for the period from 9:00 to 12:00 from Monday to Thursday, when the dining hall is open and serves such delicacies as Belgian waffles, spicy hot wings, cereal in a big ol' styrofoam cup, milkshakes, nachos, and soft pretzels. After gorging on this fare after practice, team members will often play cards until the dining hall staff give us the evil eye for staying too late.
Michelle: 1. The official hostess of the MAQT, who bakes brownies and cakes with obnoxious messages on them. She is also is the team bartender.
2. The practice of playing the lowest possible guaranteed winner first in order to temporarily confuse the other players at the table, who assume that Michelle has been spending too much time taste-testing new drinks, and that someone will play a higher card. Most people have caught on to her cheesy trickery by now.
Piss·boy n.: The nickname Shaun Hayeslip acquired one fateful night when he felt an urgent need to relieve himself, and picked the fountain on McKeldin mall as an adequate place.
Pre·cis·ion bid·ding n. or interj.: A comment used when just making a bid in a game of cards. Often used obnoxiously when the bid was made mostly on buttluck or the other team's biscuitry.
That's how it works interj.: 1. A taunt originated by David Hamilton, usually spoken during a Euchre game. It is used to rub it in after the successful making of an extremely lucky bid, usually by means of extreme luck in the location of aces, or in the fortuitous distribution of void suits in the hands of one's teammates. The implication of the phrase is "You think we got buttlucky, but in fact, that sort of play is simply routine for me and my teammates."
You're my woman (yoor my wuh man) interj.: 1. An incredibly sexist statement frequently said by John Nam to Matt Colvin and other male players on the team, when playing against them in a card game, basketball, or quiz bowl. Derived from a very foolish remark of Mike Tyson's before he lost to Evander Holyfield ("I'm going to make him my woman."). In John's usage, the phrase may be said at any time, even when losing badly:. "Yeah, the score's 51 to 20. But I'm going to get a 32 point loner and kick your ass, because you're my woman."
Zeke (zeek) n. or v.: The practice of not following suit, especially when it occurs many times in a game or changes the outcome of a game. Zeke had a lot of trouble with the whole suit-following thing, but he seems to have gotten the hang of it. Unfortunately for him, the term lives on.

Maintained by David Hamilton
Comments, complaints can be sent to the author at dhamiltn@wam.umd.edu
Last updated August 30, 1998.