Maryland Academic Quiz Team

The Maryland Academic Quiz Team Retired Lexicon

Alas, all neologisms are not created equally, and some fade into disuse. To keep the lexicon fresh, archaic terms have been removed and placed here for posterity.
Assmeat (ass meet) n., pl. -meats.
A player who is absolutely 100% "gair-awn-teed" to lose in a competitive endeavor. Usage: "Dude -- you're just so much assmeat." [etymology -- probably derived from "Meat," which was the name written on a scoreboard at CBI Nationals for a team playing against Virginia. The ubiquitous prefix "ass-" was somehow added, and the meaning was changed. See assluck for another instance of this prefix.]

Ba·ker·i·sm (baek' ur ism) n., pl. -isms.
1. A long pause while a quiz bowl contestant tries to remember an answer he knows, possibly resulting in a neg 5: "It's that guy with the trident!" (Named for 1993-4 MAQT president Matt Baker, now at Berkeley).

Bale (bael) vt.
1. To extricate one's team from a game they have lost by trumping up an unsupportable protest. Named for MIT coach Jim Bales: "We lost to Maryland, but our coach Baled us out."

Buzz·o·cen·trism (buz o cen' trism) n.
1. On a web page, the tendency of a quiz bowl team's buzzer system to be depicted as the archetypal system.

Chuck·le·head (chuk' uhl hed) n., pl. -heads.
1. Blockhead. 2. A small, melancholy person (Homo Chucklecephalus) whose head is made of chewy, sugar-coated candy, shaped like a torus, and as large as the rest of his body. 3. Quiz Bowl. A foolish player of academic quiz games: "Taking 5 negs in a row is a sure sign that you're a chucklehead." A favorite term of Kevin Keegan, the coach of the MD team at the Panasonic national high school tournament. See BISCUIT.

I'm the Great·est (eyem the gray' test) interj.
1. An exclamation uttered, possibly humorously, by a certain unnamed Maryland player upon answering even a simple question. 2. This same remark, quoted in a self-deprecatory manner by any quiz bowl player who wishes to admit the insipidity of the question he just answered: "[buzz] Two plus two? That would be four. Yes, I'm the greatest!"

Joyce·man (Jois' man) n.
1. A mysterious muse invoked by some Georgia Tech players, particularly useful in answering stream of consciousness questions: "The Joyceman cometh!" 2. The specific player from Georgia Tech, Corey Edwards, who first called upon this muse.

"Khon speaks!" (cone speeks) interj.
1. An answer of indisputable accuracy. Counterexamples such as the unavoidable tendency to confuse "Tommy Lee" with "Tommy Moe" fall under the category of a KHONISM, which is an inexplicable word or phrase uttered by Khon.

Re·ac·tion (ree ack shun) n., pl. -actions.
1. reduction (From a rather nasty incident at Swarthmore QOTC a few years ago).

Star·sin·ick·i·ty (star cin ick' ih tee) n., pl. -ities.
1. A violent reaction induced by losing to a team unfit to even touch one's buzzer, especially those responses that result in the destruction of writing implements or physical contact with walls.

Swis·dak·i·an (swiz dack' ee an) adj.
1. Any buzz that requires the prescient ability to accurately predict a bizarre twist in the question and compensate for it to the astonishment of teammates and opponents.

Tooth·brush·ing toss·up (tooth' brush ing toss' up) n., pl. -ups.
1. What CBI calls a "common experience question." 2. A question that requires no knowledge to answer; a "find your ass" question.

Tris·cuit (tris' kit) n., pl. -cuits.
1. A commerical brand of wheat cracker, the container of which can be used to hide Gra-Lab clocks from view.

Vi·shious (vi' shus) adj.
1. Having a demeanor that causes one to throw writing implements at a moderator: "Did you see how many bounces that pencil made? That was vishious!"

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Maintained by David Hamilton
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Last updated October 16, 1998.